Brexit, finally… really?

‘On the 31st of January 2020 across the British Isles there was much joy, matched by an almost equal amount of sadness. For many, however, there was an overwhelming feeling of resignation and acceptance. The one thing that united everyone was a desire to go back to how it all was before. But even if that had been possible, no one was able to agree on when was the best time to go back to. All was lost in half remembered memories and a multi-handed grasp of history. None of this was important though, compared with what was to come. After 2020 there was much wrangling, aborted deal-making and gnashing of teeth behind the putting on of a brave face. As a result there was a lot of recrimination and bad feeling and ‘I told you that’s how it would be’ plus price rises and shortages of food. The discontent simmered along, and – in 2025 – came to the boil with the Great British Break-Up.’

So goes the introduction to my dystopian-future take on the whole Brexit debacle (am I allowed to still use a French word?). I wrote Brexit Wounds way back in 2016 just after the Brexit decision was taken. And yes, it’s sadly true that an embarrassingly high number of folks believed that on the 23rd June 2016 a magic wand had been waved and it was all done and dusted – we’d left the EU and become fortress Britain once more. More than that – every single person not a pure-bred, native English speaking Brit would have done the decent thing and ‘gone back home’. Yes, I know, that’s pretty dodgy logic when we were supposed to only be leaving Europe and not the entire world, but there you go. Anyway, in those three and half years plus ca change, plus la meme chose (Mon Dieu, I just can’t help it!). We’ve dithered and wrangled and pussy-footed about so much, even staunch remainers (like myself) are pleading ‘for Christ’s sake, just get on with it!’

Have I stopped worrying and learned to love the Brexit bomb? I can’t say I have, but I’ve learned to stop banging my head against the Brexit brick wall. Will it be wonderful? Will it be a disaster? Somewhere between the two, I imagine. Not much will change and we’ll end up wondering why did we bother in the first place?

Any road up, if you fancy a piece of dystopian-alternative-future-history (updated for 2020-30) with lots of humour, action, bad language and North of England settings – Brexit Wounds could be just what you’re looking for. And – to commemorate this next (but far from final) step in the Brexit saga – Brexit Wounds is available as a free download from today until this Sunday. Enjoy!

** This post originally appeared in my Girl with the Edinburgh Tattoo blog on 31 January 2020 **